(To the women who are not strong)

 

I break.

Like my voice after screaming at the top of my lungs,

reaching for the stars with every fibre of my being.

Being less than,

but enough so that I keep on going

just a little bit longer.

 

I break the silence and the demons

that enter my thoughts

when hope gets too far from being real.

When time stands still

and I am crying out, asking G-d why I am here.

 

Why am I here?

 

Feeling of despair,

despite the desperate calling for making the right decisions

every day of your life.

Doing what is true,

rediscovering the parts of yourself you’ve so vigilantly tried

to hide away.

 

I break norms and endless standards

that are much too tiring

for one to maintain.

For no person is an island.

No person is the whole entire world.

 

We all break,

that is the truth within ourselves.

It’s not weakness,

but it’s the knowledge we don’t wish to speak about.

There are always cracks in the foundation,

rings under our eyes

and darts in our souls.

We are not weak because we wish to be.

We are alive

and in life, there is always

death.

So we break along

the so-called journey of breathing.

On the path of our existence,

I break the norms holding my people back from realization.

 

I break for I deserve more than I set out to be.

The thoughts I cave into

are not an extension of me,

nor are they the truth of my thinking.

Because my mind is under your control

until I brake free from the chains keeping my fists from reaching the sky,

cutting through the air,

letting go of doubt and self-hate.

 

Until then,

I’ll keep on breaking.

Until then I too feel the breeze of chilling winds across my face,

facing the lies of which you’ve fed me.

But I’m no longer hungry.

 

I am no longer starving.

 

Freedom has never tasted this good.

And good is being free,

but free is no one.

We are left with traces of victory

but the pattern of defeat lies upon us.

 

So we break because we are alive.

And because without breaking,

there is no need to reconcile.

 

To rediscover.

To rebuild.

To cut our fists through the air and into the sky.

 

To the women that are not strong, I too break.

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